365.280: Date Night Tips

I like a lot of what Mark Driscoll (pastor of Mars Hill Church in Seattle) has to say, but I especially love what he has to say to husbands and fathers. For instance, here are 25 tips for dating after marriage.

1. Parents, if you can’t afford a sitter, is there a way to set up a rotation with three other families to take turns each week watching kids for date night?
2. Husbands, when is your date night? Your wife needs it. You do, too. Grace and I have enjoyed Friday date nights for about 20 years.
3. Husbands, don’t waste every date night at a movie where you can’t talk. Use the time to visit with your wife, draw her out, and study her like you do the Bible.
4. Husbands, plan out your date nights. Ask you wife in advance what sounds good, see what your options are, and make a plan. She’ll be thankful.
5. Date night killers: no plan, selfishness, laziness, letting technology keep interrupting, and doing the same old predictable thing.
6. Time with other couples now and then is OK, but if most date nights involve other people, there is likely an intimacy disconnect in the marriage.
7. Dads, moms who stay home all day with the kids need to get dressed up, taken out, and have some adult conversation with their husbuddy.
8. Husbands, what can you do to find some creative ways to make date night fun and endearing even on a tight budget?
9. Husbands, what can you start doing days or hours before date night to build the expectation of connection with your wife? Flowers, cards, calls, texts?
10. When life gets crazy, the kids are sick, etc. is there any way to sneak in a bit of a date night at home with say a soak in the tub together, glass of wine etc. after the kids go to sleep?
11. Sometimes sending the kids out to someone’s house and having a date night at home can be cheap and fun if planned right.
12. Men, you don’t pursue a woman to marry her and stop pursuing her. You pursue a woman to marry her and pursue her with more passion and creativity than ever. How’s it going husbands?
13. Men, you don’t need to understand women. You will be doing better than most men to understand just one woman. Date nights are to ask inviting questions, listen, and learn about her. It’s also a night to open up and let her do the same.
14. Men, if you don’t date your wife, someone else may eventually volunteer for the job.
15. Ladies, sometimes it’s a great gift to go into your husband’s world for a date night by doing something like putting on a jersey going to a game and eating a hot dog. His love language may just be hot dog.
16. Men: find a shirt with buttons, try two eyebrows instead of one, find a breath mint or 20, show up with a gift, don’t ogle other women, and go to a restaurant that does not have a spork.
17. Sometimes the best date night is date breakfast, date lunch, or surprise pick up your spouse from work for an hour at a hotel.
18. For some they are bored games, but if your spouse likes board games, date night could be a nice spot, a beverage of choice and time to play and chat.
19. Sometimes takeout is fun and a drive to somewhere more private to turn it into a picnic or adventure.
20. A nice relaxing candlelight massage is always a good date night, especially if your spouse is high touch.
21. Every once and a while you just have to have a redneck date night and go bowling, play pool, or throw darts. If nothing else, enjoy people watching.
22. Plan in advance for some big events like concerts, comedians, Cirque show, etc. Who is coming to town? What would be fun?
23. Men, take your wife shopping. Yes, shopping at a place that does not also sell carburetors or fishing supplies. Patiently help her pick things out, watch her try them on, flatter her with comments, and spend some money.
24. Sometimes it’s fun to go on an old memorable date again, or retrace a first date, relive the memory, and recollect what God has done since then.
25. A few times a year, a couple needs an overnight date, even if it’s a night away with a discount room on Priceline, dinner out, and time to chill.